Ticklenotes

Problems

ticklenotes — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 13:10:12 +0000

I was having a problem understanding my computer manual. Called my computer store, to get some clarification. This is what I heard: “. . . my name is peggy . . . what is problem please?”

Take Your Shot

ticklenotes — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 12:43:33 +0000

“I know a place where you can get a shot of Jack with ketchup.”

Down With the Sickness . . .

ticklenotes — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 01:30:34 +0000

“Oh, my God! I think I have hypochondria!”

Life On the Edge

ticklenotes — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 14:27:14 +0000

“. . . i don’t drink, i don’t take drugs, i don’t have sex and i’m always on a diet . . . “

ABC

ticklenotes — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 21:32:36 +0000

” . . . i know my ABCs . . . but i dont know them in alphabetical order . . . ”

Yummy

ticklenotes — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:13:53 +0000

Two women talking on the escalator: “Yeah, he is a man cake.”

Danny Dyer

ticklenotes — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 15:26:28 +0000

“Crack on . . . ‘ave a booze . . . “

Light Choking

ticklenotes — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 14:26:51 +0000

“My sister made me so mad last night.”
“What did she do?”
“She won’t ever do anything I ask her to do.”
“What did you do?”
“I choked her.”
“YOU CHOKED HER!? I dont want to know this. I will have to report you.”
“It was only a little. She hardly noticed.”

Old Fart

ticklenotes — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 14:23:52 +0000

“Do you think I look old?”
“Why do you care?”
“Well, it’s something I think about a lot lately.”
“You should think of something else.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You ‘ve been old a long time. You’re used to it.”

Term Paper

ticklenotes — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 20:12:25 +0000

“The professor keeps sending the paper back, asking for clarification. Back and forth. Back and forth. He is really slowing down my graduation plans.”